A Triage Nurse's
Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and wild were the phones
All the children were whining, and crying with moans
Our headsets were plugged in, our phones logged in right
We hoped that St Nicholas might call us this night
No children were nestled all snug in their beds,
For coughing and sneezing caused pains in their heads

Then Moms got quite anxious, and Dads were more nervous,
"We'll just call the nurses at that great On-Call Service!"
The call center was noisy, the place filled with chatter
Our job here as nurses -- to see what was the matter
A babe with an earache, a child with a rash
A quick moving bike caused a spill and a crash

Back and forth to our chairs to handle the faxes
Both flu and the colds our resources taxes.
The stories so sad, to our eyes bring a tear,
Computer keys prancing as fast as reindeer.
With the little ol' charge nurse, so lively and quick
Yelling, "We've got lots more faxes, and everyone's sick!"

More rapid than eagles the faxes they came,
We whined and we shouted, and called them by name;
"Not RASHES! No FEVER! Please no COLD, FLU and LICE!
No more BUMPS, LUMPS and BRUISES! Just put them on ICE!"
"I'm missing my break time, I'm just off the wall!
I'm going insane, can't do just one more call!"

As sudden as lightning that strikes from the sky,
The faxes they stopped -- and we didn't know why.
We checked every plug, connection and line
But lo and behold, it was all working fine
As we unplugged our headsets and all turned around
Through the door old St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in red, which we knew was his thing,
And right past security -- the alarm didn't ring!
A bundle of food he did pull from his sack
Pizza and cookies and food from Thai Shack
His eyes -- they were bloodshot! his smile quite merry.
His cheeks were like roses, no doubt from some sherry!

He smiled at us all, then stuck out his tongue
We smiled back sweetly as we ate egg foo yung.
He sucked on his pipe, which we know wasn't smart
And prayed that the fire alarm wouldn't start
The jolly old fellow sat down at my chair
Gave the headset, computer and keyboard a stare

He picked up the phone and we missed who he dialed
Though some of us guessed it was to "every child"
He said "Ho ho, little ones... tell your folks that I'm near"
Then he whispered some more, something we couldn't hear.
Then laying the phone once more on the hook
He laughed at us all, and his belly it shook;

He sprang out the door, and we heard a loud beep
As Santa drove off down the road in a Jeep
This made us all wonder if we had seen the "real thing"
The silence was shattered with a single fax ring
Then we saw it all clearly, the sheet printed in sight
It read "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

webster96

Return to the Telephone Nursing Index Page

Copyright © Kathi Webster, 1996, 1997. All rights reserved.